Hitting Goals Won’t Bring Happiness. Here’s an Option That Can.
Why dopamine is both friend and foe and how to escape the dopamine trap. 1
“Dopamine is about wanting, not about having.”
Dopamine is actually released in anticipation of a reward and not for achieving the actual reward.
This is what causes the feeling of emptiness when you get to the finish line.
We dump dopamine or repeatedly overstimulate our pleasure systems, our brains adjust and, eventually, we need more and more just to feel “normal,” or not in pain. That’s called a “dopamine deficit state,” and the cycle that leads us there can actually lead to depression, anxiety, insomnia, and addiction.
To clarify, it’s not mean goals are not important, because they are. They prevent us from starving to death. What it means is not to expect the achievement of goals to fuel a long-term happiness.
“The only thing that can ruin your holiday is your expectations.” It’s true about holidays and it’s true about life.
With a transactional mindset, you are only doing something for the outcome, and you wouldn’t do it if you knew for sure that no reward was involved in the short term.
A relational mindset on the other hand, opens the door for all manner of weird and wonderful things that you cannot possibly anticipate.
“A transactional mindset can make you successful, but a relational mindset will make you fulfilled.” — Jay Shetty