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The 3-word phrase "tell me more"
The 3-word phrase that makes people instantly like you. 1
Saying “Tell me more” has multiple benefits:
- It signals validation and interest in the speaker’s story.
- It creates a sense of reciprocity, encouraging them to ask questions later.
- It sparks curiosity and leaves an intriguing “mystery gap.”
Three psychological effects explain the success of this phrase:
- The Spotlight Effect: People enjoy talking about themselves, activating their brain’s reward centers.
- Active Listening builds trust. Nodding and encouraging people to elaborate creates a sense of bonding.
- The Zeigarnik Effect: People become invested in finishing their stories.
Using “Tell me more” is a great icebreaker and can make interactions more enjoyable.
- Why it works?
- Validation: Signals “I care about your story.”
- Reciprocity: Makes them feel obligated to ask you questions later.
- The psychology behind the magic:
- The Spotlight Effect: People love talking about themselves (it lights up their brain’s reward centers).
- Active Listening = Trust: Nodding + “Tell me more” releases oxytocin, bonding them to you.
- The Zeigarnik Effect: Unfinished stories (like “Chaotic how?”) make them obsessed with finishing the convo.
- Follow Up With a “Why” or “How”
- “Tell me more → How’d you get into that?”
- “Tell me more → Why’s that your passion?”
- Avoid the Pitfalls
- Don’t: Interrupt or use it sarcastically (“Tell me more… said no one ever”).
- Do: Pair it with open body language (uncross arms, eye contact).
- 7-day “tell me more” challenge
- Day 1–2: Use it once daily (cashier, coworker, Uber driver).
- Day 3–4: Note their reaction (Did they smile? Lean in?).
- Day 5–6: Add a follow-up question (“How’d that feel?”).
- Day 7: Reflect: Who do you feel closer to?
Charisma isn’t a gift - it’s a strategy. And “Tell me more” is your secret weapon.
Charisma is a learned strategy, and “Tell me more” is a valuable tool for building rapport.
“Tell me more” works because it validates the speaker, encourages reciprocity, and creates curiosity.